It's transfer season!

'Tis that time of year again, when moving trucks roll in & roll out. This year an extraordinary number of my friends are leaving us behind. Amy & Matt to Kodiak, AK, Lindsay & Cody to Seward, AK and Jamie & Eli to Saugerties, NY. For a brief couple of days I thought we would be adding ourselves to that list. The powers that be have decided it is our fate to remain in Sault Sainte Marie for another year (or four).
I vacillate between contentment about this possibility & sheer terror. If Dave finally agrees to a second child, being here would be that much easier as I would see the same OB and have the baby in Petoskey again. I would still have my job & my friends there.
The reasons I feel like ripping my skin off at the thought of staying here? We're stuck in this postage stamp sized duplex, where we are constantly tripping over Emersyn's increasing amount of toys. I have to buy EVERYTHING over the internet. And I would theoretically have this job for another 4 years. I'm not sure my sanity will take it.
And so, as my friends head off to their new adventures, I'll hold down the fort in "The Soo."

...and one more thing...

Not too long ago, I was bemoaning the fact that my child would not accept any sort of "artificial nipple," including pacifiers or bottles. I was thrilled last week when she finally decided that she would use a pacifier... Except now, I'm pretty sure it's the only way I'll ever (ever) get her to sleep during the day... I've created a monster! What's that saying? Be careful what you wish for?

Getting back to normal...

I've been back to work full-time for 2 weeks now. Surprisingly, it feels like I never left. The only major difference is my schedule & that I make a conscious effort to leave by 4:15 pm every day. Hubby has been picking Emersyn up at daycare most days, which has been wonderful as it has forced them to bond. Emersyn is crazy about her father & he is a lot more confident with her (especially when she's fussy--he doesn't immediately hand her over to me).

One minor hiccup was the fact that she caught her very first cold that first week. It was pitiful to see her like this:

Awful, huh? I didn't dare give her anything except Tylenol & would obsessively check her temperature to make sure she was ok. Even her crying sounded congested. I was a wreck. Hubby told me I would turn her into Howard Hughes because I was making such a fuss. In my defense, there was a confirmed case of RSV at the day care. The most pitiful part? When she would still smile at me through her glassy eyes & body wracking cough. I wanted to cry.

So now, the only leftover symptom is her cough. I think she sounds like Scrappy Doo (I can't explain why, but it has something to do with how she tries to catch her breath between coughs). Oh yeah, and she still does have a little bit of a snotty nose. Who knew I would be so intimate with another person's bodily fluids? Anyhoo, I guess I can now say that we've made it mostly through her first illness. ...on to the next one.

The Countdown Begins...

I start work tomorrow. Emersyn will be with me this week...at least that is the plan for now. Until she has a meltdown while I'm facilitating a group & then all bets are off. She starts daycare full time on January 12. The date has been confirmed with the director. I've been storing/freezing breast milk for weeks. I've purchased a box of diapers, wipes & diaper cream for daycare. She's able to use a bottle--and actually might prefer it (go figure). Logistically, all systems are go.
But I'm not ready.
It will be so weird for me to ask someone else how her day was. I could cry thinking that there is a definite possibility that someone else will hear her first laugh & witness her rolling over for the first time. What if she starts liking the daycare people better than me? (Ok, that one I just thought about for the first time--lovely!)
I'm sure once she's been in daycare for a few weeks, these worries will seem ridiculous. I mean, just last week I was convinced she'd have to be fed from an eye dropper because she refused to use a bottle. And then one day, (after we actually warmed the milk in boiling water on the stove) voila--she actually sucked down an entire 4 oz bottle. This is the story of my life--I make a huge deal about something & then it inevitably works out. Patience? Yeah right! Not something I was born with. (Hello? I had my child induced 2 days before her due date!)
I'll try to add a post sometime next week to let folks know how work plus Emersyn is going. I just have to remember to try to put Emersyn & my clients as equal priorities (at least while I'm at work). My goals for the week? Get to know the clients that are at the house right now. Get back in the therapy mode. Establish & reinforce boundaries. Get organized & comfortable working again.
Try not to think about the following week, when someone else will be with Emersyn...